I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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