Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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