Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
