this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
