Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's rum buckets o'clock
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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