i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
