Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize