I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete