Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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  (630): Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus http://tfl.nu/u8l4
  Replies (19) Good night (643) Bad night (1815)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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  (603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl
  Replies (17) Good night (4785) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka

  (231): View more from Michigan

  the cocktail of hope

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  (734): I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka (231): the cocktail of hope http://tfl.nu/t9k0
  Replies (20) Good night (5167) Bad night (1043)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?

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  (901): I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that? http://tfl.nu/6l8j
  Replies (13) Good night (933) Bad night (3701)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.

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  (610): dude, she masturbates with a ken doll. http://tfl.nu/7x56
  Replies (66) Good night (1365) Bad night (7459)
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  (310): View more from California

  So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.

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  (310): So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he. http://tfl.nu/52vb
  Replies (51) Good night (15242) Bad night (2492)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.

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  (401): you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it. http://tfl.nu/ggt5
  Replies (11) Good night (4551) Bad night (1386)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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  (563): If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from? http://tfl.nu/xs7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1802) Bad night (3213)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.

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  (918): He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things. http://tfl.nu/ox9y
  Replies (16) Good night (1271) Bad night (2988)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before

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  (416): Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before http://tfl.nu/meit
  Replies (4) Good night (3264) Bad night (3531)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.

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  (412): Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it. http://tfl.nu/x2ar
  Replies (6) Good night (1956) Bad night (1007)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

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  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (773) Bad night (499)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (785) Bad night (351)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?

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  (902): Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that? http://tfl.nu/n34x
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...

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  (778): I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating... http://tfl.nu/qllj
  Replies (12) Good night (611) Bad night (710)

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