Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95

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(919): View more from North Carolina

My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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(315): View more from New York

I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room

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(574): View more from Indiana

I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

(614): View more from Ohio

Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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(913): View more from Kansas

Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.

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