You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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