He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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