She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
