i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize