We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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