you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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