Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I checked into jail on foursquare
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
