I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
