On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
kristin has been a bad kristin
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Randomize
