I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
