yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
