Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
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Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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