nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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