How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
