I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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