I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
