my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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