she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
