i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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