i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
