between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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