I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize