I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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