Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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