she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
