You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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