unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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