Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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