I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize