U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
farters have to be the big spoon...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
