My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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