Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
