i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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