i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
