I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
