Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
