Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
