I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
