i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
