Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
