operation harelip BJ is a go
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
