that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I just found puke in my bra..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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