Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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