i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
