I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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