he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
