I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize