I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
