we have officially lost it.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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