Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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