A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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