Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
