His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
