New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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