You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
