yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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