Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
