Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
